Two friends are talking:
"You're so sad, why?"
"White smoke went out of my TV-set yesterday, I thought a new Pope was elected, but it turned out that my TV burnt out."
Four months ago, (what possessed me to say that!), when we were quarreling I told her that I'd marry her when the Pope of Rome would leave his see.
Result: already 24 missed calls, 7 voice messages, telling the boy does what he says he'll do (two of them - congratulations from her friends), 33 SMS (6 of them -condolences from my friends)...
A teacher asks children:
"So, children, what has Mr. Abdul-Aziz Mamed taught you at the Foundations of Orthodox Culture?"
Children (in choir):
"There is no god but Allah, and Muhammad is His messenger!"
An actress is speaking to another one:
"O, dear, what a terrible dream has come to me..."
"Oh, tell me..."
"I have dreamed that I died, got to the light, and I saw the road and the gateway to Paradise and to hell. I started going, of course, to Paradise, but Apostle Paul stopped me: "Where are you going, my dear, well, you were an actress, acted all your life... Your place is in hell..."
"I asked an opportunity to look through the peephole, though half-peep at Paradise world, and Apostle let me to the crack in the Paradise fence, and I saw the tabernacles, the birds are singing, the magnificence. Suddenly I look you, my dear, walking, sing a song, flowers gathering. I appealed to the Apostle: "Say, say, how is it possible? She was an actress too!"
And the Apostle said: "What a poor actress she was..."