Religion

Jokes

The new Pope of Rome is so modest that the Vatican press service reports about new manifestations of his modesty several times a day.

Two friends are talking:

"You're so sad, why?"

"White smoke went out of my TV-set yesterday, I thought a new Pope was elected, but it turned out that my TV burnt out."

Drug detection dogs were so well-trained that they barked even when they sniffed out Wahabi literature.

Four months ago, (what possessed me to say that!), when we were quarreling I told her that I'd marry her when the Pope of Rome would leave his see.

Result: already 24 missed calls, 7 voice messages, telling the boy does what he says he'll do (two of them - congratulations from her friends), 33 SMS (6 of them -condolences from my friends)...

A teacher asks children:

"So, children, what has Mr. Abdul-Aziz Mamed taught you at the Foundations of Orthodox Culture?"

Children (in choir):

"There is no god but Allah, and Muhammad is His messenger!"

An actress is speaking to another one:

"O, dear, what a terrible dream has come to me..."

"Oh, tell me..."

"I have dreamed that I died, got to the light, and I saw the road and the gateway to Paradise and to hell. I started going, of course, to Paradise, but Apostle Paul stopped me: "Where are you going, my dear, well, you were an actress, acted all your life... Your place is in hell..."

"I asked an opportunity to look through the peephole, though half-peep at Paradise world, and Apostle let me to the crack in the Paradise fence, and I saw the tabernacles, the birds are singing, the magnificence. Suddenly I look you, my dear, walking, sing a song, flowers gathering. I appealed to the Apostle: "Say, say, how is it possible? She was an actress too!"

And the Apostle said: "What a poor actress she was..."

Nobody knows how to meet The End of the Days and what to serve for the dinner?

I have come to the bank to take the credit. I was asked to fill out a questionnaire. The last question: "Do you believe in the end of the world?"

I've understood, those who believe, and the loan will not give!

So what did they decide with the end of days? Should I buy new winter boots, or I can finish my autumn ones?

Recording on the answering machine of a priest: "Christ is Risen. If you have more important information, leave it after the tone.