I understand that Jesus Christ also was a carpenter. But He never worked in a tower block with a drill at weekends!
Today, I bumped into a car trying to answer the phone call from my mother. When I took the phone and yelled "WHAT?!", she answered, "I just had a bad feeling and called you to ask if everything was all right."
Administrator is going along the hotel corridor and hears a man singing in one of the rooms.
He asks the concierge:
"What about our guest from room 14? Have you given him his bill?"
"Then why is he singing?"
"He is not singing, Sir… It’s a requiem sung for him."
One-dollar bill has met a 20-dollar banknote.
"Where’ve you been? I haven’t seen you for ages…"
"Oh, first I was spinning around the casino, and then started on a voyage. Afterwards I got back to the States, called on two baseball matches, found myself in a supermarket, so it goes… And what about you? What’s up?"
"Always the same thing, church, church and church again…"
Two blondes came to the Zoo. One of the girls stopped near the monkey cage.
- Why have you stopped here? - her friend asks.
- I’ d like to see how a monkey will be turning to man.
- Oh, you’ll have to spend here a year to see them doing so!
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We've bought a rocking horse to our little daughter. It was teddy and looked natural...
I was sleeping in a stuffy room and had bad dreams. I woke up in a cold sweat. Still sleepy I started pawing about the floor for my slippers and suddenly felt a touch of a slim wooly leg with the hoof...
I almost turned grey...
My daughter is 11, she is an avid reader and spent all spring and summer reading Master and Margarita. We also often listened to Jesus Christ - Superstar...
Together with her granny, they once went to the Kazan Cathedral. The choir is chanting, and then a strong bass overrides the choristers.
The well-read child loudly asks, "And it's the Satan's aria, isn't it?"
A Pole comes into the church to the confession and tells the priest:
- Pan ksendz, I sinned.
- What kind of sin, my son?
- I deceived Jew...
Ksendz after the short meditation:
- This is not sin, my son. This is miracle!
I was going to Rostov by plane. I was asked to accompany a nice 6-year girl in the airport. We're flying, everything goes on right. Then we enter a turbulence zone, the plane is shaken, the baby gets paler.
- What should I do in such cases? - She asks.
- Do you know a prayer? - I say.
- I know one… - She puts her hands together and starts "Our Father…"
I listen to her praying.
- …I'm so small, save me, please!
- Well, you can save the others as well.
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