Religion

Jokes

"Father, is it true that man is created in God's image?"

"That's for sure."

"And me too?"

"Sure, like any other man."

"And, father, when we dare to change a man, don't we violate will and intention of the Creator? Isn't it a blasphemy to interfere in the image given to us from above, integrate and absolute in its harmony?"

"I understand what you're driving at, son. Just say that you don't want to have your hair cut."

"Synagogue, good afternoon! I'd like to come, but I don't have a hijab. May I wrap a sari instead?"

* * *
"Hello, synagogue? Do you know a workshop where I can have an icon painted? They told me to call a synagogue on the question."

* * *

A young man of typical Caucasus appearance comes to the synagogue reception:

"It's written here (he shows a business card of the synagogue): mezuzah protects Jewish house. I'm looking for a job, can you take me for a mezuzah?

"Mr. Justice, I'm not lying, the Lord is my witness!"

"And how should I serve Him a notice? Perhaps, you'd better do it yourself."

A row in Moscow Linguistic University: D-student Petrov occasionally called forth a demon at Latin exam.

8-year-old wife of a Saudi sheikh demanded her share of property after the divorce in ice cream.

A small town. A man comes to a church to confess.

"Holy Father, I've committed a sin. Yesterday evening I was drunk. It was the devil's work, I betrayed my devoted and loving wife with a prostitute who was standing near the gasoline at drive to the town."

"Don't blame yourself, my son, you didn't betray her…"

"???"

"The prostitute standing near the gasoline at drive to the town is your wife."

Two Jews, who are always quarelling with each other, meet in a synagogue. The Rabbi tells them:

"Today is Yom Kippur - the day when we have to ask each other for forgiveness and reconcile."

The Jews shake each others' hands and one of them pathetically says:

"Moisha, I wish you everything that you wish me."

"Haim, why are you starting all over again?!"

An elderly woman from Brooklyn makes a will and asks the Rabbi for advice:

"Rabbi, I have only two wishes I want you to convey to my children after my death. I want to be cremated – it is the first one. And my ashes should be dispersed above the trade center – it’s the second one."

"But why the trade center?"

"Then I can be sure my daughters will visit me twice a week."

Advanced shaman downloaded new melodies to his tambourine.

Feng Shui is a teaching, which makes Chinese happy from moving things in their flats