Religion

Jokes

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We've bought a rocking horse to our little daughter. It was teddy and looked natural...

I was sleeping in a stuffy room and had bad dreams. I woke up in a cold sweat. Still sleepy I started pawing about the floor for my slippers and suddenly felt a touch of a slim wooly leg with the hoof...

I almost turned grey...

My daughter is 11, she is an avid reader and spent all spring and summer reading Master and Margarita. We also often listened to Jesus Christ - Superstar...

Together with her granny, they once went to the Kazan Cathedral. The choir is chanting, and then a strong bass overrides the choristers.

The well-read child loudly asks, "And it's the Satan's aria, isn't it?"

A Pole comes into the church to the confession and tells the priest:

- Pan ksendz, I sinned.

- What kind of sin, my son?

- I deceived Jew...

Ksendz after the short meditation:

- This is not sin, my son. This is miracle!

I was going to Rostov by plane. I was asked to accompany a nice 6-year girl in the airport. We're flying, everything goes on right. Then we enter a turbulence zone, the plane is shaken, the baby gets paler.

- What should I do in such cases? - She asks.

- Do you know a prayer? - I say.

- I know one… - She puts her hands together and starts "Our Father…"

I listen to her praying.

- …I'm so small, save me, please!

Pause.

- Well, you can save the others as well.

Prison governor says to the pastor:

- I've just received the documents: the convict to death is granted pardon.

- Oh, what a pity! I prepared him so well.

The Pope of Rome comes to the U.S.A. The moment he appears in the doors of the plane, a journalist runs up to him.

- Your Holiness, what do you think about the problem of brothels in New York?

- Are there brothels here? I’ve never thought of it. Let’s discuss it at a press conference.

In the morning, the paper reports: “The Pope of Rome has arrived on a visit. His first question was, “Are there brothels here?”

- Are you sinful?
- Yes, I am, Father. I'm too lazy.
- You should fight laziness.
- But I'm too lazy to fight it, Father!

- Father, I am sinful, I look at the mirror admiring how beautiful I am.

- It’s not a sin, it's a delusion.

- Do you agree that a suicide is the eternal solution of a temporary problem?
- No, I don't... I'm a Buddhist and I believe a suicide is a temporary solution of the eternal problem.