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Religion
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"Scraps" by Archpriest Vsevolod Chaplin
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"Scraps"
"Scraps" are deputy head of Moscow Patriarchate Department for External Church Relations Father Vsevolod Chaplin’s sketches on various subjects beginning from church life to international politics. Some of them are united under the heading Amusing and Instructive Stories. We have included these stories in our Mosaic.
- Two autos clashed on the road, one driven by a Protestant pastor, and another with a Jesuit at wheels...
- An Anglican bishop, a righteous man, dies. St. Peter greets him in Paradise ...
- Archeologists come to see a well known liberal Lutheran theologian...
- A Baptist is digging a deep hole in his yard. Bypassers ask him what he is doing...
- Writer Dina Rubina tells the following story. A feminist asks a question to her guide in Jerusalem...
- A joke about different confessions: In a several-day dispute between Dominicans and Jesuits, neither party could win...
- We've come not to notice stylistic mistakes...
- I hope this story is not true. A priest during a requiem service has omitted the Gospels...
- I hope this anecdote isn’t realistic either. A priest conducts a marriage and asks the bride...
- The Biblical commandments are interpreted rather interesting at times...
- They say a new computer Inquisitor virus will soon appear...
- An Orthodox American priest told me a story. He drives a car and somewhat exceeds the speed limit...
- A bishop preached to students of a seminary and girls from a diocesan college. The key theme was an exposure of worldly vices...
- Bishop Hilarion (of Vienna and Austria - IF) told me that once in the Soviet times when he was an hieromonk he came to the Kremlin's Assumption Cathedral in a cassock...
- A brass proposes a toast with a present to a hierarch in his hands...
- Metropolitan Kirill and me once were visiting the Presidential Administration. We disputed over teaching religion in school...
- Fr. Georgy Mitrofanov was interviewed on the miracles presented to the Synodal Commission on Canonization...
- A priest preaches on the evil of tokens and superstitions...
- Journalists sometimes write about the Gospel’s stories in the same language they used to describe yesterday’s soccer match...
- Once a bearded old man in a shabby suit with a Father Frost-like stick came to me and introduced himself:
‘I am the Lord creator of the universe...
- Religiously minded people pester the life out of state institutions as well. A staff member of the Ministry of Justice told me about a person who demanded that a ‘new religious movement’ be registered with this legal address: Alpha Centaurus...
- A Russian can just come to church at two in the morning and begin praying with his tongue faltering and sometimes even demanding something...
- During a liturgy a deacon is terrified to see the communion spoon moving towards the cup and cleaving to it...
- German Lutherans, tied of having to do with Russian ‘church diplomats’ they always believed to be a mossy crowd, decided to invite a real ‘representative of the people’...
- A couple of years ago I met a middle-aged petty lady literarily blazing with fury...
- Once I celebrated together with a recently ordained deacon. He was very clumsy. He would take up the censer as if it were ‘a bomb or a hedgehog’...
- Once I celebrated Easter at an oil base in Vietnam...
- During the Assembly of the World Council of Churches in 1998 in Harare I had to make a critical comment on the subject of radical feminism...
- In the early 90s one of the Japanese sects declared another date of the end of the world...
- During one talk-show I was to debate with Academician Vitaly Ginzburg, a well-known and committed atheist...
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The commandments of post-christian paganism
A satirical note by Archpriest Vsevolod Chaplin on the occasion of the opening of the World Council of Churches Assembly.
- It is the time to become honest: today many Christian circles in fact believe in post-Christian paganism. Alright, why should’t we formulate its creed? It can be even proclaimed solemnly at the Porto Alegre Assembly (at least by the Western European delegates), just to mark the final victory over the darkness of fundamentalism!..
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Documents
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Exclusive
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Patriarch Kirill: Main threat for Russia is loss of faith
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Mosaic
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Believers saw the name of prophet on lamb's hair
The same case took place last year when clergymen read Allah and Muhammad on the lamb's skin
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| "Future of the Church"
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Reference
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